Coping With Discontent And Competition

November 16, 2020

One night I was out on a run and thinking about how my wedding engagement set off an intense ripple effect in my friend group. I watched as some of my girlfriends started pressuring their boyfriends about wedding rings and houses. All of a sudden we had four weddings to attend before our own.

With this on my mind, I became aware of the neighborhood I was running through. It was a new development with expensive houses, white picket fences (literally!), two new cars in each driveway, kids toys on the lawns, swing sets in the backyards and they all looked the same.

No one is immune to the competition bug. I was engaged to the most amazing man but I didn’t have the house, two nice cars or kids yet. Instantly I began to feel like I wasn’t doing something right. Many people feel similar, as it has become normal to feel pressured in our 20’s and 30’s to have start building your white picket fence.

Being sucked into this rat race didn’t feel like me! I needed to remind myself to stay present and focused on what I have and am grateful for in order to resist. Nothing in life can ever be forced; everything unfolds in it’s own time and when the conditions are right. My timeline doesn’t look like everyone else’s and neither does yours. That doesn’t make my situation wrong or make me a failure at adulting. It simply means that I am comfortable, patient and confident finding my own path!

What helps me is to stay mindful and in the present moment. To do this I remind myself everyday “I’m exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.” Then I list off in my head at least five things I am grateful for in my life, smile, take a deep breath and allow myself to feel content and not rushed. For as long as you focus on being grateful what you do have or where you are in life, the grass will never be greener anywhere else. I hope this helps you too!

–Nicole Chumsky, LMHC & Founder of Be Embodied, LLC

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Coping With Discontent And Competition

November 16, 2020

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